Please Read:
Hey guess what Trent, 29 who is freaked out that the girl he's dating has a baby name book and has revealed this to him.... What makes you think she wants to have a baybay with you? Homegirl is organized as shit and I commend her for that. Fuck, I've got babyname books all over the place and guess what? I've had them since I was like 12...that's just what some girls do. Does that scare you? It shouldn't. I don't plan on having kids until I'm 30plus and have been single for the past 2 years (by choice and that has really ruined relationships that I've had with men I was dating who wanted to get more serious), which should say to most guys .... "that girl isn't looking to become a baby-holder anytime soon" We just like to have information that we find here and there throughout our lives so that we are prepared for when we actually DO want to have kids or get married (IF).
Silly of me to assume...but I guess us girls of the new generation are just so used to being independant, innovative in our ways as well as uninhibited (yes men - we understand that this is intimidating and makes you squirm...and we are patiently accepting of this..and waiting for you to get used to it)... so when we throw things out there like... "when we are married" or "this is where my dad proposed to our mums" we are most likely joking around because after all...men make jokes like this all the time (don't deny it because you do....)
why all of a sudden are YOU taking things so seriously and literally?
All of these double standards don't fly.... which is why I think it's great that men are now being labelled as whores, rather than "player".... how many times can you recall a woman being called a player?
I'll tell you what not-so-secretly freaks us out....
1) Guys who shave their chests
2) When you trim your nether regions and then leave it in the CAN.... CHECK THE CAN JESUS CHRIST
3) Guys who get clingy REALLY fast and then realize their mistake and treat you like shit for the next 3 consecutive days. Honey...you aren't fooling us and you definitely aren't winning any points.
4) Oh by the way... just because you can't actually see anything that may be wrong with your junk.... doesn't mean you don't HAVE any sexually transmitted fun factories.... You need to get tested on the regular just like everyone else. Thanks. You are the reason why 85% of women have HPV. Ok I'm finished with that...
5) any type of behavior that involves... grunting while at the gym, crushing beercans on your forehead, dudebro heys, uuugggghh must I go on?
6) you scare us when you use more "product" in your hair than we do...
7) two words: Metro & Sexual
8) skinny jeans...as in REALLY skinny jeans...skinnier than ours... a close friend of mine once shared with me a tidbit, apparently this happens in "hip" parts of the country...like: Williamsburg, New York and Silverlake or Echo Park, California or the dorms at Wesleyan: "a guy i had just slept with once picked my jeans up off of the floor and, confusing them for his own, put them on. they were baggy. ouch."
9) boys who think that "slinging underhanded insults" is an effective way to get a girl to date you... when you passive aggressively insult us - in hopes that it make our confidence deflate a lil - you are actually foiling your own plan A) it make us see you in a negative light and you appear to be unhappy, boring and/or a total buzzkill B)it makes us think you are wildly insecure. Which you 99% most certainly are if you are using this as a mating tac tic in the first place.
10) dingleberries and diego patches
11) this probably isn't fair since i already said that men who shave their chests suck but... it sucks equal parts when you take your shirt off and it looks like there is a flying squirrel patch across your breasteses... I don't feel so bad for saying that cause a sista knows you would bitch if we took our shirts off and had sprouted up some nappy nip hairs.
12) we don't like it when you point out that you just took a steaming shite and then try to get in our nicely cleaned fluff n fold bedsheets 5 minutes later
13) STINK SHORTS
14) please please please don't make bold statements such as "i would take a bullet for you, i love you" and then when we joke "oh shit so are you saying you want to get married" freeze up like a deer caught in headlights.... for the love of christ get your priorities straight!
13) also, there is no such thing as proposing to someone via email. Just no.
I could go on a lot longer... but my guess is that if anyone is reading this at all...I may have lost you somewhere amongst the whining tirade aforementioned....
Sorry boys, we truly do love you.... You are great...you have awesome wide shoulders and strong backs that we checkout when you aren't paying attention.... we love your "top arms" (coined from the gays) and we think most of you are reaaaalllllly funny and entertaining... We are sorry that we have to make fun of you like this...but let's face it.... ya'll diss us on the sly too....
with love,
The Other Sex
No comments:
Post a Comment