Overheard at the Death Star: This one is for you Fed Ex

This is not meant to offend anyone...  It is merely an observation of the 'DEATH STAR GRIND'

Federal Express or Fed Ex, our sweet African-American friend from Arkansas is...quite frankly... one lazy motherfucker.

Over the past few weeks he has been filling in as the parking lot attendant... causing a whole lot of uneccessary grief to the Death Star staffers.  For instance one night I went out to the parking lot... to find that my car had been stolen.  Oh..wait.. nope false alarm... it was just parked so far down the street and "accidentally" hidden behind a massive truck... Anyhow... I digress.

Basically Fed Ex is lazy.  

He stands at the bottom of the staircase and screams our names... so that the whole office can hear... all because he doesn't want to walk up the stairs.  But we love him anyways.  I do at least.

6 o'clock is slowly approaching... and all of a sudden I hear:

"LR!!"

"LLLLRRRRR!!!!"

Nobody answers... Accounting Duane cautiously whispers "Fed Ex is yelling your name LR."

Daft$tar promptly snaps: "We know, we're just ignoring him."

Accounting Duane decides at this moment to walk downstairs for his daily peanut-butter and banana shake... He approaches Fed Ex who is slowly lurking up the dreaded stairs.

Fed ex says:  "Is LR up there??"

Accounting Duane: "Yes she is Fed Ex"

(It should be mentioned that Accounting Duane and Corey have a history of aggression towards each other)

Fed Ex:  "Why isn't she answering me?"

Instead of a simple "She can't hear you"

Daft$tar yelps:  "Because she doesn't speak Ebonics"